by BROCK KOLLER
*BEFORE READING THIS, MAKE SURE YOU READ MY HISTORY OF THE UNDERTAKER AT SUMMERSLAM POST*
ESPN is covering it. Entertainment Weekly is covering it. Sports Illustrated is covering it.
It must be WrestleMania season again...oh, wait...it's August.
Wow. Look at you SummerSlam. All grown up like your older brother. Good for you, Slam. Good for you.
So let's see what all this fuss is about and get to some Write This Down predictions for WWE SummerSlam 2015. The SummerSlam you thought you'd never see...for 4 hours long but you will now.
Diva Revolution 3-Team Elimination Match
It's Team B.A.D. vs. Team PCB vs. Team Bella as the three teams try to reign supreme over the new era of women's wrestling. I'm still confused on why the NXT stars had to join teams when they were called to the main roster and why each team name has to have the word 'team' in it but WWE likes to do that (Team RKO, Team Hell No). Though, PCB is without the word team on the website and for that reason I give them the win! Seriously though, Paige, Charlotte, and Becky will get the win because they are talented, but I am looking to seeing this match and the new life these wrestlers are bringing to the division.
Dolph Ziggler with Lana vs Rusev with Summer Rae
This feud feels like it's been going on for months and it has! Usually that's a good thing, but because of injuries, it's been a stalled and slow climb to a conclusion. There have been lookalike valets, Rusev inspired flags, fish with no heads, and a Dog Ziggler involved all to keep this feud moving when the combatants couldn't. Finally, the two will meet at SummerSlam and I hope Ziggler is able to pull off the win.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Ryback vs Big Show vs. Miz for the Intercontinental Title
Another feud that hasn't been helped by injury. Because of Ryback's staph infection, this match was scrapped from last month's Battleground. But don't fret, you get to finally witness this triple threat. It appears WWE has something planned for this match because they didn't just drop it at the first signs of trouble. Or they just couldn't think of what to do for all three instead - which is plausible, so why not stick with the original plan, right? Well Ryback is back and all three have fought each other in the last few weeks which is an interesting way to sell a match. I feel they need to keep the title on Ryback and continue his reign that was doing well prior to the injury.
Fatal 4-Way Match - Tag Team Titles
Nothing is more exciting in the tag division right now than The New Day. (Wait, it's not Team New Day??) When you see Big E doing that crazy walk down the ramp, you know entertainment is on the way. Sorry, Los Matadores, Lucha Dragons, and Prime Time Players, we will have new champs tonight.
Winners: The New Day - New Champions
Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper vs Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose
Wasn't Sting in this match or did I get trolled? Well, even without the Stinger, these four can put on quite a show. The Wyatt Family vs. Shield feud from a while back was excellent and this match should continue the trend. I wouldn’t cross out seeing an Eric Rowan return (if healthy) which then could lead to the sighting of…I won’t say it.
WINNERS: Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
In what could be the match of the night – wrestlingwise – it’s anybody’s guess who will come out the victor in this grudge match. Both are ‘Internet darlings’ and both have an extensive amount of intense moves at their disposal. The Cesaro Section may not like this, but I think Owens needs a win after losing last night to Finn Balor once again. Don’t worry. The Swiss Superman will get a win when they meet again. I’m sure of it.
WINNER: Kevin Owens
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
I know these two put on great matches. Even last time they fought on a pay per view, I said I didn’t want to see it, but that much was one of the best of the night. I’m sure this match will be just as good, if not better since it’s on a grander stage but STOP BOOKING THIS MATCH! We’ve seen this match so many times over the years. Let it rest after this. Maybe come back to it again in two years or so. Let this be the end of their fantastic series of matches for now.
WINNER: Randy Orton
Stephen Amell & Neville vs. Stardust & King Barrett
I love everything about this match. I love superheroes. I love comic books. I love the DC Television Universe. I love the Cosmic King character. Though, I have to admit, I’m more a follower of The Flash series than Arrow, so I’m holding out hope for some Grant Gustin or Tom Cavanagh interference. However, to see the Green Arrow in a WWE ring and not in a corny Robocop, Scooby Doo way is kind of unbelievable. For those fanboys who can’t get enough wrestling and comic books, this match is made for us.
WINNERS: Stephen Amell & Neville
John Cena vs. Seth Rollins for the United States and WWE World Heavyweight Titles
Cena will one day be a 16 time world champ. I’m sure one day he will be a 17 time, or even 18, heck, probably a 25 time world champ, but after tonight he will still only be a 15 time world champ and he will also be a former U.S. champ. I see, after a very good contest, Rollins walking out with both titles. Since we’re not seeing the Flash in the previous match, I’m thinking we could see some outside interference in this one – in the form of 16 time world champion Ric Flair. Flair costing Cena his shot at history? That’s something to woo about.
WINNER: Seth Rollins – New U.S. Champion
Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
Undertaker cannot lose. Brock Lesnar should not lose. What to do. What to do. The only way I see this ending is the Undertaker going full out crazy on Lesnar with chairs, stairs, ladders, 2x4s, kitchen sinks, and any weapon he can find. Destroying the Beast with anything not bolted down. This has to be a no-DQ match. It just has to be. Taker gets the win, barely. But is able to slay the beast. Lesnar, of course, would walk away on his own to show he hasn’t been completely put down, but the Undertaker walks away a winner and he will have defeated the 1 in 22-1.
And as for Jon Stewart…you will be funny. At least, we hope.
Enjoy the show!